Honestly I wish people with neurological disorders and mental illness talking to themselves was more normalized so here’s to people with autism who narrate things! people with adhd who talk out loud to remember stuff! people with tourette’s and tic disorders with verbal tics! people with psychosis who talk to their voices! people with DID who talk to their alters!
If you talk to yourself for any reason you are wonderful and not bad or weird. And if you see someone talking to yourself and think it’s weird? Maybe mind your own business!
it’s okay to have clumsy and awkward sex and it’s actually really common
the ability to laugh while you’re lying tangled and naked together bc you realize just how silly something is is really really intimate and trusting, and it’s the best feeling to be like that with someone and to be relaxed
it happens with long-term partners, it happens on hookups, and it’s rarely as bad as it’s always made out to be, except we usually think it’s bad we're told that’s not how sex is supposed to go. but that’s not true.
it can still be passionate and intimate while being messy and clumsy, absolutely. you don’t need to “perform well.” sex isn’t a show: it’s about feeling good. sometimes it takes experimenting to figure out what feels good, and fumbles and awkward moments and laughter is all just part of it. sometimes that’s a huge part of the fun.
hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas
a classic example
daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldn’t do it
mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too
a common variant
mom: well i’m having a really hard time right now and you know that i’m doing my best and that i didn’t mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time i’m having
This is a very important post about how to recognize problematic behavior in narcissistic mothers. It is also something we all need to watch out for in ourselves, especially if we were raised by a narcissistic parent.
Because if that’s what you’re used to, you can grow up wrongly believing that this is what sympathy is supposed to sound like.
I have, numerous times, talked about having a bad day, and had a well-meaning acquaintance tell me how much worse their day was, honestly believing that they were being sympathetic – that telling me how much worse their day was would somehow make me feel relieved, or grateful, that my day wasn’t as bad as theirs.
Of course, it did not make me feel better. It made me feel like my experiences were being trivialized, and like my feelings were being invalidated.
I know these people weren’t trying to be cruel. They truly just didn’t know better. They thought they were empathizing.
If you didn’t grow up learning what genuine sympathy looks/sounds/feels like, it’s hard to know how to show genuine sympathy for other people, even when you really do care about them.
additional variant mom: “what are you talking about this is how I COPE it’s my RIGHT to feel this way after all the horrible things I’ve been through!!! even if my unchecked trauma and extreme anxiety is significantly contributing to you developing anxiety as well I don’t MEAN to use you as an emotional trashcan so you shouldn’t take it so personally!! If you can’t handle it then I don’t know what to tell you because I just say it like it is!!!”
Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.
TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD
Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and
I feel like I need to write an article like “How to React When Your Friend Comes Out: A Guide For Really, Really Straight People” and it’s just eighty pages of me transcribing all the terrible experiences I’ve had coming out to straight people
Chapter 1: Why “I Knew It” Is Nowhere Near As Funny As You Think It Is
Chapter 2: Is Now The Time For An Abridged History Of You Being A Good Ally™? Signs Point To No
Chapter 3: It’s Cool That You Know Other Gay People, But Not Really Relevant Right Now
Chapter 4: Just Because You Have Gay Friends Does Not Make You An Equal Or Greater Authority On My Gayness
Chapter 5: This Is Actually Really Important So Please Stop Saying It Doesn’t Matter
Chapter 5A: Why “I Don’t Care If You’re Gay, Straight, Purple, Green, Whatever” Is Not A Supportive Statement
Chapter 5B: “I Don’t Care As Long As You Don’t Hit On Me/Turn Me” Has Never Been Funny
To anyone confused: this is bc “cis” and “trans” are adjectives! A blonde woman and a red headed woman are also the same gender! A mean woman and a nice woman are the same gender!
